Navigating the new age of first dates: Tips for success

Each of us dreams of an ideal date, modelled after romantic comedies. Our vision doesn't always have the chance to come true. Even if the setup is imperfect, as we imagined, everyone would like to avoid awkward silences.

Let's emphasize that both parties are responsible for the date's success. Keeping the conversation going is not just one person's task. Therefore, if only one person attempts to start a conversation and is met with brief responses and no questions in return, it's likely a sign that you're not on the same wavelength.

When meeting someone online, it can sometimes be hard to predict how they will behave during an in-person meeting. If the date isn't going as planned, relax and don't treat it as a failure. This way, you can avoid disappointment and sadness. Be aware that a perfect date is quite rare.

The essential thing is to choose the right place and time. If we have a hectic day and are exhausted by 10:00 PM, let's not schedule a date for 9:30 PM. The same goes for the meeting place – we must choose a space conducive to a first meeting. Suggest a place that offers a setting for a relaxed conversation. A loud restaurant or club might make it difficult to talk – it will be hard to hear each other and concentrate. Being an attentive listener in such a place may also be unrealistic.

Let's find out what type of meeting the other person prefers and jointly choose a location. Making a joint decision tells us a lot about a potential partner.

These two elements are key to having a genuine, sincere, and comfortable conversation. Listening skills are a great asset these days. Don't interrupt; let the other person finish their sentence, so there is no feeling rushed or pressured.

Be interested in the other person and what they are saying. Don't change the subject when they start talking about something passionately; ask follow-up questions and show your curiosity.

There's no getting around it – whether there will be a second date depends on how the first one goes. Therefore, if we are interested in the other person, it's no surprise that we want to make a great impression. Often, in these efforts, we get carried away and start pretending to be someone we're not. Such showing off is not only for children – it happens among adults who want to present themselves in the best possible light. Unfortunately, it usually turns out quite the opposite.

Being authentic, just as we are daily, works much better. Creating fictional versions of ourselves only adds extra stress. The other person will eventually notice that it wasn't our true self.

A date is not a job interview, but it's worth asking a potential partner a few essential questions. Each of us has different values, interests, and preferences. If it turns out that we have nothing in common at the very beginning, the chances of it turning into something more are pretty slim.

Everyone has some love experiences behind them, some more successful than others. If the topic of ex-partners comes up, don't make it a secret, but also don't badmouth them. It reflects poorly on us.

Questions about hobbies, travel, favourite films or TV shows, or dishes are recommended for a first date. Avoid bringing up serious subjects that require lengthy explanations and are emotionally challenging.

Even if we are very open and want to lay all our cards on the table on the first date, it's worth considering if this is the right tactic. Everyone has a different level of openness and doesn't always want to share everything immediately. Don't pry into very private details from your potential partner, and don't overshare yourself – it might be overwhelming for the other person.