Navigating the dangers of parallel partnerships in marriage
In today's fast-paced world, more and more couples are functioning within a relationship model known as a "parallel partnership." Although they jointly manage the home, children, and careers, their relationship becomes purely functional, and a deeper emotional bond and intimacy begin to fade away.
A parallel relationship is one where partners live side by side but rarely connect on an emotional or intimate level. They collaborate as a team in managing daily responsibilities, but they lack the space to build shared experiences, have conversations, or express feelings.
The commitment framework
Psychotherapist Rachel Marmor explained in an interview with Newsweek that such dynamics can creep into a relationship, especially when partners have to cope with the demands of parenting, careers, and running a household. By focusing solely on duties, they fail to notice that their relationship has transformed into a purely practical arrangement.
"Every couple needs to figure out how to keep the family going but when the connection between partners is limited to logistics, as if 'Who's picking up the kids?' or, 'Did you pay the bills?', the deeper emotional and physical intimacy starts to fade," she emphasized.
Psychotherapist Kate Engler, referring to this issue in an interview with Newsweek, pointed out that living "in separation" can become routine, particularly for couples raising children.
"It appears fair because things are split up between people, but in mixed-gender marriages, the woman is almost always holding more of the load," she stated.
"This imbalance—and a sense of powerlessness to change it—leads people to parallel partnership," she added.
Why are "parallel relationships" dangerous?
Although it may seem at first glance that such an arrangement works, the lack of emotional involvement leads to a weakening of the bond between partners. In the long term, this can result in frustration, a sense of loneliness in the relationship, and even its breakdown.
Experts emphasize that emotional and physical closeness are crucial for a healthy relationship. Without them, partners may begin to perceive each other only as housemates or coworkers, rather than as close individuals to one another.
