How to rekindle love: Understanding and overcoming fizzling

Are you in a long-term, seemingly happy relationship but feel that the love connecting you is starting to fizzle out? This phenomenon has a name - fizzling. How can you deal with it?

Love is the most beautiful feeling we can give another person. Everyone wants to love. When we finally find the right person, we strive to ensure that this feeling never fades away.

Unfortunately, love alone is not enough. A relationship requires work—and hard work at that. Over time, feelings may start to weaken. Arguments arise, silent days occur, and even passive aggression occurs. This phenomenon is known as fizzling. Dr. Mateusz Grzesiak explained it on the "Good Morning TVN" show and how to deal with it.

Robert J. Sternberg is a renowned American psychologist and the author of the triarchic theory of love. Sternberg believes that true love consists of three components - passion, intimacy, and commitment. Feelings change depending on the dynamics and duration of the relationship.

At first, passion disappears. This is a completely natural phenomenon that results from brain chemistry. When the infatuation period passes, it turns into intimacy. This is the slow process of building a trust-based relationship. The problem begins when commitment weakens. Couples stop spending time together. They begin to live like roommates, even though nothing has happened in their relationship that could signal its end.

This phenomenon is called fizzling. Dr. Mateusz Grzesiak, psychologist, psychotherapist, and lecturer, explained exactly what it is.

"It is a term used to describe a situation where we stop being interested in the person we used to meet, but instead of breaking up with them, we gradually limit communication, causing the other person to feel confused and hurt," he explained on the "Good Morning TVN" show.

What does a relationship look like when fizzling appears? Couples no longer want to sleep together, show affection, or spend time together. Basic, terse communications replace honest conversations. Partners feel sadness, apathy, and resentment, but they cannot identify where these feelings come from. They display passive-aggressive behaviours, such as hostility, avoiding contact, or small sarcastic remarks.

Fizzling is a serious problem that cannot be overlooked. Partners become unhappy and confused. Rebuilding the relationship seems so difficult that many couples decide to break up.

Can such a relationship be repaired? According to the psychologist, the only solution is to confront the growing problems.

"Inform your partner that you want to talk. Plan to tell them what you have noticed about their behaviour, but focus mainly on asking questions about what is happening with them and how they feel. If they want to share what is happening, really listen to what they are saying. Share how you feel," he explained.

If shared conversations and arrangements do not help, it is worth consulting a couples therapist, who will identify the source of the problems and help rebuild the relationship.