Bread crumbing in relationships: How to spot and stop the manipulation

Is your partner avoiding hugs, kisses, or small romantic gestures? Do they speak sweet nothings only when prompted? This phenomenon is known as "breadcrumbing." How can you protect yourself from it?

Nowadays, many women encounter the phenomenon of "breadcrumbing." It refers to when someone enters a romantic relationship but offers their partner only scraps of attention, love, or commitment. The victim begins to feel confused and uncertain, and their self-esteem drastically declines.

A relationship based on "breadcrumbing" harms the person experiencing it. Such relationships lead to emotional instability, causing constant mood swings and a feeling of being "unnoticed." As a result, the victim feels uncertain and lacks emotional stability.

Research conducted in 2019 in central Spain, presented in the "International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health" in February 2020, showed that people who experienced "breadcrumbing" or "ghosting" in the past twelve months felt many strong, negative emotions, such as a sense of helplessness or loneliness. Their self-esteem was significantly lowered, and they felt confused and misunderstood. This research was conducted on a group of 636 adults aged 18 to 40.

What does psychology say about this? According to specialists, individuals entering or staying in such relationships strongly need attention and acceptance. This stems from low self-esteem. They seek it in the eyes of others, most often their partner. The problem arises when their partner's opinion matters more than their own. In such a situation, there is a high risk of encountering someone who initially offers their attention and love but does so less and less often over time. Such a partner is referred to as a "crumb giver."

"Breadcrumbing" is a form of manipulation. The partner creates the illusion of seeking a genuine relationship but, in reality, avoids commitment. What behaviours should raise our suspicion?

1. The partner makes vague promises and responds to your plans with phrases like 'we'll see,' 'we have time,' but then doesn't follow through.
2. Often calls, then shows no interest for many days.
3. Their behaviour in reality and online is entirely different, as if they were another person.
4. He makes many promises but fulfils none of them.
5. Floods you with compliments one moment and then treats you indifferently the next.
6. Often makes you feel guilty when you're with them.
7. Avoids conversations about feelings or emotions.

If these symptoms appear in your relationship, it's a sign that something is wrong. Consider whether you want to continue being in such a relationship. Don't you deserve more than scraps of love and attention? Remember that your worth does not depend on your partner. It's something no one can take from you. If you feel this situation has affected your mental health, see a psychologist.