Smartphones: A third wheel in modern relationships
We choose a smartphone over talking to a loved one. We stare at the cell phone screen almost "automatically," forgetting about the need for tenderness and building a strong relationship with another person—here and now, not in the virtual world. An expert warns that excessive smartphone scrolling can negatively impact relationships.
11 May 2024 15:34
Currently, a smartphone accompanies us at every step. We constantly check notifications, scroll through social media, or search for information worldwide. Smartphones have improved our contact with people far away but have worsened our relationships with those near us.
"Parallel scrolling" is killing relationships
"Parallel scrolling," or simultaneous smartphone scrolling by both partners, can negatively affect the relationship and sexual life. Excessive staring at smartphone screens fills our free time. We also do it in the company of our other half. We can't peel away from the device, even in bed or on the couch. The smartphone is the third (not necessarily wanted) "person" in our relationship.
We want to stay current, and smartphones bombard us with notifications from applications. It's no wonder that by the end of the day, we are overstimulated and increasingly less often in the mood for intimacy.
therapist Tracy Ross in a conversation with "HuffPost" claims the parallel scrolling, generally continuous phone use, prevents us from sharing experiences, feelings, and worries. It creates a barrier between us, which stands in opposition to building a bond.
How can we help ourselves?
It's worth putting the phone aside and spending time with the partner. It's not that easy, so it's possible to set together rules for using smartphones, e.g., during the weekend. Maybe you can make one evening offline? Without nervously searching for the smartphone in your pocket or bag. Another option is to find a common hobby that will fill the free time. Learning a new dance, running outdoors, or maybe participating in book club meetings?
Muting notifications for some time can also be helpful. This way, you can carve out time just for yourselves, and the beeping notifications won't distract you, for example, during a movie together or dinner.
